Sunday was Day 3 of the 2010 World Cup, and so, what better time to get back into the running diary groove. Group D looked to be one of the more hotly-contested groups in the tournament this year; with Germany, Serbia, Ghana, and Australia thrown together, some were saying that you could pick any two to qualify.

Ghana beat Serbia early on Sunday; I chose to watch 2006 semifinalists Germany take on Asian champions Australia, live from Durban. Martin Tyler and Ally McCoist called the match.

PREGAME – In the ESPN studio, Jurgen Klinsmann says, “I think Germany’s always ready.” Frightened yet, Polish people?

Speaking of scary, Tyler leans in to the camera to shout something about German klaxons. He’s terrifying up close. One presumes children are sobbing across America.

Also speaking of scary: The German national anthem, everyone! On the flip side, Australia’s fans just belt out their anthem, which is always nice to hear. Well done, Aussie fans.

0 – For the 45th time, Tyler mentions that this is the youngest German team in 76 years, while Australia is the oldest team at the World Cup. We get it. Please stop.

1 – Miroslav Klose is about ten yards offside for Germany. Tyler makes a “Klosing in” joke. He needs better writers.

2 – Germany’s wearing white and black. Australia, which always wears green and yellow, is wearing… dark blue and light blue. I don’t get it.

3 – The Germans are using zonal marking on corners, covering space instead of players. This never ever works for anyone. I don’t know why they’re doing it. It nearly leads to a goal, as Richard Garcia‘s swiveling shot is denied from five yards out.

7 – After sitting back for a few minutes, the Germans come absolutely swarming forward. They would do this a lot. Their plan: long pass up the middle from a defender, followed by an immediate pass to a darting forward, or an immediate pass wide to a streaking winger. It’s like the hook and ladder every time, and it works every time, as all of the passes are timed to perfection to beat the offside trap. Who said Germany wasn’t a favorite? Anyway, this time Klose is through on goal, but can’t finish.

8 – Here they come again, and this time, the finish is good. Lukas Podolski blasts a shot off of keeper Mark Schwarzer‘s hand and into the back of the net. Germany 1:0 Australia Quite a good-looking goal.

12 – In the category of “Not good-looking,” Mesut Özil gets booked for one of the most outlandish dives you’ve ever seen. We should all get to run on the field and punch him in the shoulder. Germany doesn’t need that – why, Mesut, why?

14 – The Germans are supposed to be efficient and clinical, but instead, they’re just playing incredibly attractive soccer. Every pass is right on the money, every run is timed perfectly. It’s quite beautiful. Where are the steely-eyed Germans who will out-efficient you to victory?

17 – We finally get a clip of the coaches’ celebration following the goal. Klinsmann, the team’s coach in 2006, set the bar pretty high for unintentionally-hilarious celebrations, but new coach Joachim Löw is no slouch. KARATE CHOP CELEBRATION!

21 – Just noticed that everybody on both teams is lily-white, which I think we can all agree is a little strange for South Africa. Tim Cahill, for Australia, is half Samoan; he’s about all we’ve got right now. Weird.

24 – Klose, wide open ten yards from the goal, blasts one wide. Aye yi yi.

26 – Making up for it, Klose beats Schwarzer to a cross and finds the back of the net. Germany 2:0 Australia Boy, the Germans are good. Though Klose is about 1-for-3 so far in unmissable chances.

29 – Turns out the Aussies didn’t allow more than one goal in any of their qualifying matches. Baptism of fire here for the “Socceroos,” as Tyler insists on calling them.

31 – The Australian defenders are constantly convinced that the German forwards are offside. They have been wrong every time, except for a few instances in which Klose was terrifically offside by ten or twelve yards.

37 – Germany’s had the possession by a count of 60-40. Though they don’t show the stat, they also have more completed passes, by a score of 1379 – 8.

40 – “Ze Group of Death? FOR YOU, MAYBE! WE HAVE WAYS OF MAKING YOU LOSE!” My German accent needs work, I discover.

41 – McCoist and Tyler discuss whether Australia is to blame for this. Honestly, the main thing they did wrong was showing up for kickoff; Germany’s been that good.

HALFTIME: GERMANY 2 AUSTRALIA 0 – I am left to contemplate. How can we all learn to be more German? These guys were supposed to be young and inexperienced, yet they’re absolutely playing Australia off the field.

46 – About ten seconds after the second half starts, Aussie defender Lucas Neill gets carded for what appears to be a rugby tackle. Something bothering you, Lucas?

48 – Germany gets away with a blatant handball in the box. McCoist says it wasn’t deliberate, so it’s not a penalty. Either I don’t understand this rule, or McCoist doesn’t. Lucky for Germany? They just seem ready to sit back for this half.

53 – After a tic-tac-toe circus move from Germany that should have been accompanied by calliope music, Thomas Müller drives just over the crossbar. Never mind what I said about sitting back.

56 – Whoops – Tim Cahill just got sent off. Replays show is was a bad tackle, deserving of a yellow card, but hardly a red. Now Australia’s really done for. They’ve been complaining about the linesmen and the referee the whole game; this won’t help.

59 – Schwarzer turns away a blast from Özil. This has the potential to get ugly.

60 – Klose and Sami Khedira contrive to miss from about six feet away. I can’t see how that was physically possible.

62 – This game could be 5-0 at this point. Equally, though, if Schwarzer stops the Podolski shot (he did get a hand to it), and gets the cross that Klose scored on (he should have got there), it could still be 0-0. Strange how these things work.

64- Nikita Rukavytsya comes on for Australia. In case you’re wondering, like I was, Rukavytsya was born in Ukraine but moved to Australia at the age of 14. I’m not sure what the classic Australian name is, but “Nikita Rukavytsya” isn’t it, I don’t think.

66 – I think Tyler has said of Klose, “He should have scored,” at least four times. Yikes.

68 – Germany 3:0 Australia – It’s Muller this time, wide open to ricochet a shot off the post and in. Germany has been very good, but Australia’s defending has been bad, bad, bad.

69 – Klose is substituted. Does he have a little, um, German-esque upper-lip fuzz? Not a good look for a German to be sporting, Miroslav.

By the way, German’s three subs today are named Cacau, Mario Gomez, and Marko Marin. Go ahead and try to pick out the native-born German from that group, I dare you. Answer later.

70 – While we ponder that, Cacau scores on the break to make it Germany 4:0 Australia. This is getting hard to watch. Painful for the Aussies. I feel bad for them.

72 – “It’s a spanking for the Socceroos,” says Tyler. Naughty.

77 – Tyler and McCoist somehow begin discussing rugby. Tyler says, “Anything that’s oval I’m not very comfortable with, I’m afraid. Except perhaps a boiled egg in the morning.” Martin Tyler has now officially stopped making sense to his American audience. Congrats, Martin!

80 – The Australian players are yelling at each other. Guys, you’re down 4-0. It’s a little late for that.

81 – The answer: Cacau was born in Brazil, Marko Marin in Bosnia, and Mario Gomez in Germany. How someone named “Mario Gomez” was born in Germany remains a mystery to me. “Dieter Gomez,” I could believe.

86 – Nothing entertaining happened here, but I feel the need to update.

91 – Corner for the Aussies! Whoo! And another! Wheee! (As you might expect, this game got a bit boring once Australia went down four goals.)

92 – Now Cacau is booked for another horrible dive. Guys. Knock it off. You Germans played such wonderful soccer, I want to like you – but not if you’re going to keep flopping around like a bunch of Portuguese players.

FINAL: GERMANY 4, AUSTRALIA 0

And just like that, the Germans go from “Hey, maybe they won’t get out of their group!” to “Hey, the Germans look like the best team in the tournament yet again!” They beat Costa Rica 4-2 in their opener in 2006, Saudi Arabia 8-0 in 2002; somehow, they always come to play.