It’s Day 6, and every team has played at least once – so what better time to rank the teams 1 through 32?

  1. Germany – It’s not even close. So far, they’ve put on the only dominating performance of the tournament. They were the only team to score even three goals in their first game, and they put four past wildly overmatched Australia.
  2. Argentina – Only an acrobatic Nigerian goalkeeper held them to a single goal.
  3. South Korea – Sure, Greece was terrible, but the Koreans dominated.
  4. Switzerland – Beat a Spain team that was picked by many to win the tournament. Switzerland still hasn’t allowed a World Cup goal since 1994 (though they assisted themselves in that by failing to qualify in 1998 and 2002).
  5. Chile – Overran Honduras, but couldn’t finish.
  6. Brazil – Had trouble with North Korea, but showed flashes of their expected brilliance.
  7. The Netherlands – Got the win over Denmark, but needed a Danish own goal to send them on their way.
  8. England – Probably deserved better than the point they got. (Thanks again, Robert Green!)
  9. Japan – Beat Cameroon through sheer scrappiness.
  10. Ghana – Needed a late penalty to scrape three points against Serbia.
  11. Portugal – Offensive strategy: Cristiano Ronaldo dives, followed by free kicks. I hate them.
  12. Ivory Coast – Drew with Portugal. Everyone expected more entertainment from them.
  13. Spain – Were denied a draw with Switzerland via the post and about eighty missed chances.
  14. Nigeria – Playing Argentina to open the tournament is a tough job. Staying within 1-0 is respectable.
  15. Uruguay – Admittedly, wouldn’t have been this high, except for their 3-0 win over South Africa in their second game.
  16. North Korea – Lost to Brazil, may not win a match – but they could give both Portugal and the Ivory Coast problems. (Disclaimer: I am required to mention here that they are tools of a horrible fascist regime.)
  17. United States – Got the draw they wanted against England. (One more time: thanks, Robert Green!)
  18. Mexico – Held to a draw by South Africa, but possibly still the favorite in Group A.
  19. Paraguay – Gah.
  20. Italy – Double gah.
  21. France – Triple… you get the picture.
  22. Denmark – Lost to The Netherlands; scored the strangest own goal ever, as one defender sliced a clearance off of another’s back and into the net. With Japan and Cameroon in the group, still a chance to qualify from Group E.
  23. Slovenia – Three points, but mostly due to an error by the Algerian goalkeeper. (Still, on track to qualify if they can get a result against the USA on Friday.)
  24. Serbia – Unlucky to lose to Ghana.
  25. Cameroon – The “boy, they should have been better” team of the tournament. Contrived to lose to Japan, which makes you wonder what else they might contrive to do.
  26. New Zealand – Got a late draw against Slovakia. The feel-good story of the tournament, really.
  27. Slovakia – Bet they’re not happy to drop points to New Zealand.
  28. Honduras – If Chile could finish, they would have lost 5-0.
  29. Algeria – Lost to Slovenia. With England and the USA left to play, staring way, way uphill at qualification.
  30. South Africa – I admit, I wouldn’t have ranked them this low, except that they got whupped by Uruguay in their second game.
  31. Australia – Positively spanked by Germany. Still could qualify, but getting beat 4-0 in your first match does not breed confidence.
  32. Greece – I swore to avoid their matches because they were boring. I didn’t know they’d be terrible, too.

For another opinion on the rankings (though we’re in the same boat), check out the always-good Grant Wahl at si.com.