An Inaccurate History of the Baseball Playoffs

This week at Twinkie Town, I wrote up a history of the baseball playoffs that contained some facts that were not, strictly speaking, true.

You may notice, however, that many of the facts are indeed true – that I have the dates of westward expansion more or less correct. This is because I spent two and a half hours Sunday night writing a well-researched post about the playoffs. I aimed for thoughtful. By the time I was done, it was labored and awful, like a bad research paper or the first draft of an encyclopedia entry. I went to bed angry. And so I got up early Monday morning, scrapped the whole thing, and banged out jokes for half an hour and called it good.

Proof positive: I need to stick with what I’m good at, or anyway, with what I’m not awful at.

 

Weekend Links

There are a few recurring themes that appear often in the weekend links, one of which is concussions. This week’s essay starts with hockey, goes to boxing and meanders on to concussions… which is a strange way of getting there, I admit. As always, these links appeared first at RandBall, who I really don’t thank enough for giving me a chance to write.

I invited a couple of friends over to watch hockey last night. As it turned out, this was a poor choice. Our plan was to watch the Gophers clinch the WCHA in style by beating Wisconsin, a plan ruined by the Badgers waxing the Gophers from beginning to end. The Wild didn’t save us, either, as they got comprehensively annihilated in Detroit. By the third period of the Gopher game, we were casting around for other entertainment options, eventually landing on “Friday Night Fights” on ESPN2.

We caught much of two different fights, both of which were mismatches. The first involved one skilled fighter and one who appeared to have been plucked out of a local fitness center about thirty minutes before the fight began. In the second, one of the fighters employed a novel defensive strategy in which he’d bend over at the waist until his torso was parallel to the floor, which protected his midsection but also meant that he blocked all attempted body shots with his face. Both of these bouts featured multiple knockdowns. Both featured blood. Both featured us encouraging one of the fighters to stay down before his head was separated from his shoulders.

For all of this, though, there was no doubt that I was entertained by the fights. Boxing was once one of America’s favorite sports, and while that’s nowhere near true any more, it’s still popular enough to draw big crowds for pay-per-views. It’s still popular enough that famous people still land ringside at big title fights. And it’s still popular enough that I can watch two palookas earn themselves a couple of trips to the canvas and a lifetime of health problems apiece.

I mention this because of this story. Chargers guard Kris Dielman, a Pro Bowler, got a concussion in a game against the Jets, and was “visibly staggered” and “struggled to maintain balance.” After a short examination, the Chargers sent him back into the game. On the flight home, he suffered a grand mal seizure; he didn’t play again the rest of the year, and is now retiring on his doctor’s advice. Now, to me, this story reads like the opening of a book titled “Bell-Ringer: How Concussions Ended Football In America.” But I’ll admit this: nobody has any illusions about boxing’s effect on brain health, and yet last night I watched two men get pounded into a pulp. If boxing still limps along in America, then football’s not going away any time soon.

On with the links, and there are so, so many good ones this week, so I’ll try to be brief:

*Make sure you read Grantland’s oral history of the Pacers-Pistons brawl in Detroit.

*Jesse Lund at Twinkie Town explores whether Trevor Plouffe – who according to RandBall, “reminds me of A-Rod” – can ever be the player the Twins need him to be.

*Spencer Hall has a guide to watching NASCAR, which I may need, if they promise to have a car crash into a jet engine every week.

*Benjamin Polk writes for A Wolf Among Wolves about the differences between the oft-compared Steve Nash and Ricky Rubio.

*Brian Phillips explores the fascinating Westbrook-and-Durant dichotomy in Oklahoma City.

*I’m pretty sure that duckpin bowling will be the next great hipster trend. “Want to go bowling? No, not cosmic bowling. (sniffs condescendingly) It’s duckpin bowling. You probably haven’t heard of it.”

And finally: you know, why wouldn’t J.P. Arencibia have a delightful Tim Kurkjian impersonation?

How To Be Positive About The Twins

Joel Zumaya ripped up his arm again, almost before he had a chance to put on a Twins uniform, and while it’s not surprising that doesn’t make it any less depressing. Spring is a time for hope, but so far it seems like negative news has won the day so far for Minnesota.

With this in mind, I tried to find something to be positive about. (NOTE: I kinda failed.)

Weekend Links

*Managed to keep this week’s links to American sports, for once, this despite spending Saturday watching rugby and cricket. You’re proud, I know. As always, this post appeared first at RandBall, your home for the retirement of the greats. *

When the media begins to bother players who have reported to spring training, the vast majority of the players declare some variation of the following statements:

  1. I’ve never felt better.
  2. I’ve changed my diet / workout routine / offseason routine / trainer / agent / et al, and it’s really made a difference.
  3. I’m not worried about (insert injury that affected player last year.)

This is why it was so disconcerting to hear Justin Morneau be realistic about the possibility that his recurring concussion symptoms could end his career. Major league baseball players are not fatalistic. They do not admit reality; like a tightrope walker refusing to look down, they do not admit the possibility of failure. They just can’t, especially in a sport with such a well-developed minor-league system. Morneau knows that there are a dozen or more first basemen in the Twins’ system, all waiting for the guy at the top to quit so they can move up a notch. And so, usually, players don’t say things like this; by nature, it’s not in their makeup.

It’s hard to see our favorite athletes struggle with this sort of thing. It’s unlike them. We depend on them to be different from us, to be calm when we would panic and to succeed when we would fail. They are our representatives on the field, our proxies, and they are supposed to be able to do what we cannot. I don’t want to admit – don’t want Morneau to admit – that he might be too human and fragile to overcome a solid kick to the head, because that says too much about me and my belief in my favorite athletes than I’m comfortable with.

That, I guess, and that I just want to see him hit some dingers again. On with the links:

*We begin this week at Twinkie Town, as Jesse Lund interviews assistant GM Rob Antony on a wide range of topics. It’s a long interview, but well worth your reading time.

*The Economist explains why Jeremy Lin is actually kind of a problem for the Chinese government. Key quote: “Mr Lin is, put plainly, precisely everything that China’s state sport system cannot possibly produce.”

*Speaking of Lin, If you missed Sebastian Pruiti’s breakdown of the strategies NBA teams have used to guard Lin, I can’t recommend it highly enough.

*Spencer Hall writes about his roots as a NASCAR fan, as part of the celebration of the week leading up to the Daytona 500.

*The goofs at Down Goes Brown have put together their own team-by-team guide for this week’s NHL Trade Deadline.

*And finally: the search is over, everyone. We’ve found the worst sports fan, and possibly the worst person, in America.

Scenes From A Preseason, Part One

I spent much of the offseason writing fanciful tales of what the Twins were doing over the winter. Now that spring training has started, however, there’s actual news out there. So for my first post of the spring, I decided to really change it up and write a fanciful, but news-based, Twins-related tale!

You’re right. That’s not a lot different.

Here’s the post for this week, looking at the news that the front office, and not Ron Gardenhire or head trainer Rick McWane, will be doing injury updates this year.

Late Sunday, Twinkie Town editor-in-chief Jesse Lund put up this year’s edition of his yearly interview with Twins assistant GM Rob Antony, always one of the site’s best reads every year; I wonder if Antony could have guessed that he’d soon be a minor character in a broad satire on the same site.

Weekend Links

I don’t have much to say in the way of preface this week, except to say this: honestly, thank goodness for the Timberwolves. Would have been a long winter otherwise. As always, these links appeared first at RandBall, your home for strange dirt bike pictures.

I’m afraid for the Wild. I’m afraid because I was at Tuesday night’s game against Anaheim, and I got the strong sense that not one person in the building wanted to be there. The crowd was barely awake. The teams both appeared to have other things on their mind; you could almost imagine them asking each other for mortgage advice during stoppages in play. The Wild held an early 1-0 lead until the third period, then gave up two goals and lost. I’d describe more of the game for you, but the whole thing was so boring as to be almost self-erasing; at the final horn, there were groups of fans sitting and chatting at the various arena eateries, apparently having long given up on the game and gone in search of something entertaining to do.

I’m afraid for the Wild because I’ve experienced this sort of thing before. This is what Timberwolves games were like for an awfully long time, and it’s only now – eight seasons, four coaches, one GM change, and scores of players later – that the team’s fun to watch again. The similarities are evident; both teams fired a longtime coach. Both teams lost the player that was really the only star the franchise had ever had. And the Wild are currently going through a stage that the Timberwolves went through a few years ago – the stage where the team tries bringing in veterans and castoffs, in the hopes of accidentally hitting upon a combination of bad players that might magically transmogrify themselves into a winning team.

The secret, of course, isn’t better chemistry or veteran leadership or anything of that ilk; the secret is better players. The Timberwolves finally have a couple in Kevin Love and Ricky Rubio (and, dare we hope, in Nikola Pekovic). The Wild are going to have to find a few players like that through the draft. Their best hope is that Mikael Granlund, still playing in Europe, can be their Love, and that somehow they can be bad enough to pick up a Rubio equivalent along the way.

The scary part is that, maybe especially for a franchise that’s drafted as poorly as the Wild, high draft picks bring no guarantees. The Penguins picked first or second in the draft four years in a row before they finally rebounded to become a good team. On the flip side, Edmonton has picked first two years in a row, and in the top ten four times in five years – and the Oilers are the second-worst team in the NHL.

On with the links:

*Rob Neyer at SB Nation, and Brandon Warne at FanGraphs (the genesis of Neyer’s article), both think that Scott Baker is vastly underrated. You remember Scott Baker, don’t you? No? Pitches for the Twins? Starting rotation? Quiet?

*Spencer Hall compares the current Alabama football dynasty to another seemingly-unstoppable juggernaut – the mid-1990s Nebraska Cornhuskers. Thanks to various factors, Nebraska eventually fell apart – and Hall has a pretty good idea of the type of team that might be the one to knock Alabama off the mountaintop.

*The Economist studies Quebec’s push for a new set of Nordiques , especially the underlying factors that have changed to make Quebec again a possible destination for the NHL.

*The Classical looks at the current state of Ultimate Frisbee, which has become a competitive intercollegiate sport in addition to the reason half-drunk freshmen run you over when you’re trying to study on the campus quad.

*And finally: this is what ESPN has become. Oh ESPN, I remember you when you were cool, and now, look at yourself. First you got in bed with that Skip Bayless, and now this.

The Good Things of Baseball

People seem to like my latest post at Twinkie Town, which discusses some of the good things about baseball in a few stream-of-consciousness mini-essays.

I can only say that I’m getting good at shameless pandering. This can also be summed up in the following rule: when at a loss of what to write about, write about baseball and dads. I’m sure glad spring training’s about to start, though – I’ve missed baseball.

Weekend Links

*I had to absolutely sweat blood to write this week’s opening essay. Even now I’m not sure I got it right. If you think it’s terrible, or if you think I’m an idiot, please keep it to yourself; I don’t know if I’ve ever had such difficulties producing a coherent 500 words. As always, this post appeared first at RandBall, your home for weekend sports columns that nobody reads. *

Cast your mind back to last summer, and the Women’s soccer World Cup. You might remember the USA-Japan final, because you probably watched it; at the time it was the most-Tweeted event in the history of Twitter, eclipsing even the royal wedding and the death of Osama bin Laden. And if you watched the game, you might remember USA forward Alex Morgan, who scored the first goal of the game, a tremendous goal that any striker would be proud of.

You also might remember Morgan for being wildly popular during the tournament for her attractiveness. Seemingly hours after the USA’s heartbreaking loss to Japan, Morgan was making red-carpet appearances back in the States. And she was in the news again on Friday, as she was interviewed and pictured by SI.com because she’s in the upcoming Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue.

This bothers me. Not because I have any interest in telling Alex Morgan what she should and should not do; if she wants to be photographed in nothing but bodypaint for SI, that’s her business. And not because I’m holding myself out as the last bastion of enlightenment, a seawall holding back the crass sexualized tide of popular culture. But at some level, it seems like the popular reaction to women’s sports is more about the attractiveness of the participants and less about the attractiveness of their play.

You could cogently argue both sides of the debate about celebrating female athletes for their looks, and I don’t wish to re-fight that battle. And female athletes certainly don’t have to make a choice; they can be both athletically talented and good-looking at the same time. But I do know that reducing Alex Morgan – fourteen goals for the national team, and the potential to star for another decade for the USA – to a cheesecake magazine spread feels wrong somehow. I’d like for our athletes to be more admired for what they do on the field than what they look like in a state of undress.

On with the links:

*Could football’s concussion problem really kill the game in America? Economists Tyler Cowen and Kevin Grier think so – and they have a fascinating look at how it might happen.

*Remember when Duke basketball coach Mike Krzyzewski was going to coach the L.A. Lakers, and then changed his mind, purportedly because of an email from a student? That student, Andrew Humphries, takes a look back at the hoopla – and explains why the experience, in part, pushed him away from Blue Devil hoops.

*Will Leitch has an unpopular opinion: Gus Johnson has become a terrible college hoops broadcaster. As much as I’ve written about how great Johnson is, I can’t really disagree here.

*Zambia is in the finals of the African continental soccer championship, which has occasioned much passing around of Leigh Montville’s Sports Illustrated story about the 1993 plane crash that claimed the lives of the entire Zambian national team.

*And finally: Shawn Fury, of the TVFury blog, thinks that in order to save the Super Bowl halftime show, it’s time to send in the ROTC.

That’ll do it for me. Enjoy your Saturday, especially tonight’s battle between the Timberwolves and NBA sensation Jeremy Lin’s New York Knicks, which is on (checks schedule)… Well, I guess this one isn’t on television. Take that, fans who wanted to watch the most interesting Wolves game of the near future!

Scenes From An Offseason, Volume 4

This week at Twinkie Town, it was once again time to write goofy fictionalized scenes from the Minnesota Twins offseason.

In this edition, the team tries to confuse Tsuyoshi Nishioka, and Matt Capps is re-imagined as an accident-prone good-ol-boy who loves disgusting food. (Yeah, I don’t get it either.)