NOTE: Rand is on vacation, and he never published these. So, for the first time I can remember, this did NOT appear first at RandBall.

The National Hockey League had a chance to make die-hard fans happy when it officially released its 2013-14 schedule on Friday. The league is reorganizing itself into four divisions for next year, and those of us who have been hockey fans for a few decades hoped that the league would take the chance to resurrect the divisional names that persisted from the mid-70’s to the mid-90’s: Adams, Patrick, Norris, and Smythe. Of course, they didn’t – the latest example of the NHL’s identity crisis.

The strangest thing is that I knew, as a hockey die-hard, that whatever I wanted, the NHL would do the opposite. The last twenty years of hockey – not surprisingly, a period coincident with the tenure of Gary Bettman as commissioner – have seen the league consciously try to move away from its roots. Bettman’s NHL has, whenever possible, turned away from its roots and towards becoming more like the NBA, a strategy that has led to three work stoppages, constant drama from several franchises, and zero increase – probably even a decrease – in national attention to the sport.

The one thing I can guarantee is that not one fan will be attracted to hockey because the divisions are named Pacific, Central, Atlantic, and Metropolitan. (You might notice that “Atlantic” and “Metropolitan” make no more sense than “Adams” and “Patrick” would have.) To go back to the old names, if nothing else, would have seemed more authentic than any other choice – a decision made with the person who’s already a fan in mind.

It seems like an obvious choice to me: make the die-hard fan happy. That the NHL didn’t agree – and, moreover, that I had no hope that they would even think about doing so – speaks volumes for the NHL’s identity problem. The league under Gary Bettman has no idea what it wants to be, or who it should appeal to, which is why after twenty years of Bettman’s reign, it’s in danger of being overtaken by soccer as North America’s fourth major team sport.

*On with the links:

*TVFury interviews Seth Reiss, the head writer of The Onion.

*Bryan Curtis at Grantland educates you on Carlin Isles, the future of USA rugby sevens, your new favorite rugby player, and the latest evidence that America would be awesome at rugby, if only we ever tried.

*Bobby Bonilla – yes, the Bobby Bonilla you remember from 25 years ago – is making $1.2million from the Mets this year, thanks to Bernie Madoff, believe it or not.

*And finally: awwwww.